Try and stop me.

Sorry for missing out on Tuesdays Thoughts. I didn't make a post because 1. I was so busy studying and 2. I was so busy studying animal behaviour that I had no thoughts to share.

I'm still recovering from the shock of losing everything on my laptop and from the fact that I have NOTHING TO STUDY FROM. I honestly hate this. I don't know what "this" is but I hate it. I hate the fact that I'm trying so hard to be a good student and THIS won't let me. Sure, I know a good student would go home and listen to the lecture recordings right away, but you don't know how busy I am this year so you have no right to judge me at all. I have so many other extra-curriculars to deal with, not JUST school.

LETTER:

So. You fucking son of a bitch. Whatever you are. Whoever you are. Wherever you are. Bring it. Do your best to stop me from getting into medical school. Because you know what, it ain't gonna happen, boy. Or girl. Whatever your gender is, I don't care. I don't give a flying fuck what your deal is and why you must try SO hard to prevent me from getting good grades, like do you not have a life or something?! Did you get bad grades in school and now you're out for revenge? Did your mommy not love you enough? Well, guess what? I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR MESSED UP LIFE.

Unless... you're trying to send me a message. Do you foresee the future and think that I can't handle medical school? Or maybe you're trying to tell me that medical school is wrong for me and if I continue on this path I'm destined to be doomed? What is it?! SPIT IT OUT!

If I'm your target, you should know very well that I'm a stubborn person. I'm a damn downright stubborn person. I might dare even say that I'm probably the most stubborn person you'll ever meet. So here's the deal. If you want to prevent me from getting into medical school, go ahead. Try your VERY best and don't you dare even go easy on me because I want FULL satisfaction and complete bragging rights when I kick your fucking ass to God-knows-where. And if you're out there trying to tell me a message, well you're going to have to try a little harder than that because I'm not even getting a tidbit of what you're trying to say. I'm stubborn and slow... so like... yeah. Good luck.

/END LETTER

So I'm going to pull another hard-core all-nighter to ACE tomorrow's midterm that is worth 28%, which I desperately need since I'm not doing well on my labs at all. Everyone pray for me. LUVUBI.

Fuckkk

Ugh. I'm so stupid!!! I can't believe I almost intoxicated myself with plastic fumes. My head kind of hurts right now... LOL I don't know if I should check in at the hospital right now. LOL. It's not like I directly inhaled a shitload of it, I don't even remember how much I breathed in though... and the oven is a complete mess. I don't know how to clean up the rest of it. And the cake still isn't baked. My mom will be home soon. I don't know what to do...

SO PROUD. Sorta.

Lie, cheat, steal. Whatever you call it.

Yesterday Evison asked me to pay him for the internet fees for March, in which the bill arrived, and April's as well. Of course, April's bill hasn't come yet but he wanted me to give it to him ahead of time and I don't know what I was thinking about I did it anyways.

After my shower, I thought to myself, "Why do I have to give him internet fees ahead of time?" I mean, the bill for April will come at the END of April, so my new roommate will have to handle it. If anything, I'll just split half of it with my new roommate since I'm staying until April 15.

So I just thought, "Hey, since I already paid the bill for the month of April. I should just ask my new roommate for half of it back." But then I thought, "Why do I have to do this? Protocol-ly speaking, the bill doesn't come until END of April and by then my name is off the contract, so if anything, my new roommate should be responsible for April's internet fee and I pay her back my portion of it since I'm staying until April 15th."

So I worked up the courage and went back to Evison and asked for it back. LOL. And he was like, "It's still 15 bucks. Just have the new roommate give you half of it back."

And I was like, "That's not the point. If you're going to follow everything by the books, obviously, you shouldn't be taking my money early."

And he just kept on saying, "It's just $15. It's just $15." Like WTF?!

So I said, "I already gave my portion to my new roommate. So she should pay you when the time comes." WHICH IS A LIE.

And he gave me my money back. *SMILES REALLY BRIGHTLY* I'm so proud of myself.

Did I tell you I lost 3 USB drives? Yeah, not proud of that. And on there, I probably have some very important documents!!! SIGHSIGHSIGH.

Please, God. Have someone please return it.

All the nasty emotions...

I am...

STRESSED
because I have so much stuff to do and I have 2 tests coming up and I'm not ready for ANYTHING!!!

PRESSURED
to do better this year which is adding onto my stress.

ANGRY
because I lost three USB drives and because KARMA isn't paying me back!!! I return what I find why can't other people do that?!

SAD
because I have to leave back to the stupid apartment tomorrow.

DISAPPOINTED
in a friend right now because he... well, he always does.

TIRED
because of stress and not enough sleep.

WORRIED
that my other roommate might not sign the contract and I'm going to be stuck at the apartment until August which will probably lead me to commit suicide. And I'm also worried that something is just going to go wrong.

What have I ever done?

to deserve this.

So the girl who was MY ONE HOPE to move into my place so that I could move out completely bailed out of appointment. She didn't give me an e-mail, no phone call, nothing. Either 1. she forgot or 2. she got into a car accident.

I mean, there's no reason for her to not pick up her phone. Right? I'm so stressed right now.