Goodbye Teen Years

No longer a teenager. Yet I feel no motivation to "grow up" or change my ways to become a real adult.

I do feel old, I must admit but that's probably the only feeling I'm feeling right now. I can't believe when people ask me now, I'm going to say, "20".

20 is like the real age of an adult. It's wrong for a 40 year old to date a 19 year old, but it's okay for a 40 year old to date a 20 year old. It just seems less wrong. And when you're 20, people are supposed to take you seriously. And I sort of feel like I need a new wardrobe... lol. My closet is still full of so much kid-ish clothing. But it's the kid stuff that's more comfortable, I hate adult clothing, there's all these ruffles and it's made of "nice" fabric that's so easily damaged. And it's usually dry clean or hand wash. Ugh... And adult clothing is usually only good looking if you buy it to fit you, whereas teenage clothing can be loose and baggy. Sigh. Yeah. I need new clothes.

I need new accessories. I have all these teenage bracelets and earrings and necklaces. LOL! Whatever. I think I'll keep them until I feel ready to give them up. I don't feel like a real 20 year old right now I just feel the need to grow up BECAUSE I'm 20.

In the last 2 hours of my teenage years, I spent it on Youtube, stuffing myself with food, and procrastinating. Sounds like a good way to say goodbye to my teens. Sigh.

Oh. And did I mention that Sherry finally freaking damn got dropbox. SIGH. Took so much push and pull but I finally got her to get dropbox. And surprisingly, it wasn't as painful of a process as I thought it would be.
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What I got out of my teenage years:

1. Never tell a boy you like him.
That's a big no-no. It's one thing to actively pursue the guy and it's another thing to tell him straight in the face. I did that once and it ruined my entire life. LOL. Okay, not my entire life but it ruined a lot of things.

2. Hormones do crazy things to you.
Sometimes when I'm really stressed, I get all these crazy feelings and ideas and emotions. So when I'm tired, stressed, angry, depressed, or emotional, I do not make any decisions. Because I know after a good meal, clean shower, and a good night sleep, everything changes the next morning.

3. Never say never.
I once told myself and a lot of people that I would not listen to music in languages that I do not understand. LOL. That completely changed. I also once said that I do not believing in lying. Ever. That completely changed too. I also once said I would never go to UofT. Pffft. Okay. Point is, the future is unpredictable, the impossible is possible.

4. I'm really good a cramming.
I can read a whole novel, write an essay and still get a decent mark, all in a matter of 10 hours. It merits some kind of credit, doesn't it?

5. I like stress.
As much as I bitch about it every single damn day of my fucking life, I always go looking for it. When I'm not stressed, I'll find something to stress myself over about and when I solve it, I complain about how boring my life is. And the next day I'll find something to stress over again and the cycle repeats.

6. Sleep is so important.
Sleep is not a waste of time. Never go a day, 24 hours, without sleeping, your brain starts to play funky mind games with you. And isn't there this crazy rule where if you miss one whole day without sleep, you have to sleep 48 hours to make up for it. Uh. Not cool.

7. Happiness is really hard to get.
I think when I was a kid, the smallest things would bring a smile to my face. Now, if you give me candy, I'd probably whack you with it. If I found a million dollars on the ground, I'd stress over what to do with it. I would go through an internal debate only to decide to return the money in the end. If I got a 4.0 GPA, I would stress over the need to maintain it FOREVER. Yeah, it's very hard for me to be happy. LOL. Well, long-term happiness anyways, I'm not some depressed emo kid who doesn't know how to laugh.

8. Family really matters.
No matter how much I argue with them or how much I say I hate them in the moment, at the end of the day, they would always be there for me. Always. At least... that's what I think. LOL.

9. Good friends are hard to come by.
So really treasure them when you have them.

10. Good music, good movies, good work-out, good food.
I need more of those in my life. And more clothes. And more shoes. And more handbags. And throw in a 4.0 GPA somewhere.

Time for Change

I swear to fulfill, to the best of my ability and judgment, this covenant:

I will respect the hard-won scientific gains of those physicians in whose steps I walk, and gladly share such knowledge as is mine with those who are to follow.

I will apply, for the benefit of the sick, all measures [that] are required, avoiding those twin traps of overtreatment and therapeutic nihilism.

I will remember that there is art to medicine as well as science, and that warmth, sympathy, and understanding may outweigh the surgeon's knife or the chemist's drug.

I will not be ashamed to say "I know not," nor will I fail to call in my colleagues when the skills of another are needed for a patient's recovery.

I will respect the privacy of my patients, for their problems are not disclosed to me that the world may know. Most especially must I tread with care in matters of life and death. If it is given me to save a life, all thanks. But it may also be within my power to take a life; this awesome responsibility must be faced with great humbleness and awareness of my own frailty. Above all, I must not play at God.

I will remember that I do not treat a fever chart, a cancerous growth, but a sick human being, whose illness may affect the person's family and economic stability. My responsibility includes these related problems, if I am to care adequately for the sick.

I will prevent disease whenever I can, for prevention is preferable to cure.

I will remember that I remain a member of society, with special obligations to all my fellow human beings, those sound of mind and body as well as the infirm.

If I do not violate this oath, may I enjoy life and art, respected while I live and remembered with affection thereafter. May I always act so as to preserve the finest traditions of my calling and may I long experience the joy of healing those who seek my help.