How are you? Did you ever manage to pass that midterm with flying colours? You probably don't even remember what midterm I'm referring to anymore.
I'm so tired right now. I'm in this never ending circle of routines, errands, chores and conversations. Will I pass the next test? Will I even graduate and get my bachelors? What will my job be? Will I have a family? How much longer will my parents be with me? Will I get to see the world?
Can you answer any of these questions for me?
I'm trying so hard to please everyone. It's hard to keep up with everyone, from volunteer coordinators to professors, to doctors, to friends, to my family. I think the only reason why I can't seem to please everyone is because I still haven't found myself the right niche. Have you found yourself yet? Are you still trying to fit in? Don't worry if you're still struggling, I hear some people struggle their entire life. So it's still too early for you to start worrying yet. Wait. Are you still a worry wart? Didn't I tell you to work on that?
Did you ever manage to learn all the languages that you wanted to learn? I really hope you picked up Korean or Japanese, either one would be fine. I'd be so disappointed in you if you didn't fit them into your schedule. I know you're a busy person, but it was still a goal you set for yourself if you still hadn't reached it yet, I'd suggest to you to get cracking on it now. Now. Now. Now. How's your Mandarin? The last time I heard you, you weren't bad but you could definitely brush up on your vocabulary box.
Do you still listen to Korean music? Are you still obsessed over Korean dramas like I am? You know, your life will never be like that. So. Stop dreaming if you're still dreaming and drooling over the male lead of every drama.
You never got a chance to tell me about your boyfriend. How is he? If you tell me you still don't have one yet, I'd laugh. I remember how sad you were when you told me you really wanted a boyfriend. You said you wanted to "know what it feels like to love someone and have someone love you back just as much". You were such a drama queen. But. I guess I can sort of relate. Sort of. I'm not all that sad about being single though, I mean the state of being single fits my schedule. I don't know how to fit someone else into my schedule. Are you fitting him into your schedule well? What does he look like? Does he look anything like the guy you described to me? Tall, strong, brown doe eyes, clean shaved, short hair, preferably brown, Asian, can you make laugh and forget all your worries? Do your parents know about him? You promised to tell your parents the moment things were stable.
I remember telling you that I wanted to be a doctor. A surgeon, to be exact. You were so surprised and excited because that's what you wanted to be as well. Are you a surgeon yet? LET ME KNOW! I might join you in a few years. *embarrassed laugh* If I get out of UofT alive that is... Did you make it out of UofT alive? What's your best advice to me now? I know a couple of my UofT friends who are struggling with me too and I'd love to be able to give them some insight. It's not just all studying right?
I find myself crying a lot these days. I don't know why. Do you still occasionally cry over stupid things? Sometimes I feel like I'll never grow up. I'm still so emotional and moody. I remember the time when you and I were so stressed over our midterms that we just went to sleep because we thought, "if you don't know it by now, you won't know it" and when we woke up we cried on our way over to the exam because we knew how screwed we were. *GOOD* times. Do you have better studying habits now? Hopefully, better than mine.
Do you still remember Chris? Do you still talk to him? I sort of lost contact a while ago. I don't think he's doing all too well the last time I checked on him. But "well" is really subjective I suppose. If you're still in contact with him, I wouldn't be mad since he was such a big part of your life. I won't stop you from contacting him since he was everything in your life at one point, I understand that would be hard for you to erase him completely. But if you have a boyfriend now, there wouldn't be a need to keep in contact with him right? I don't think your boyfriend would be very pleased if you did. I wouldn't tell him but I think if you're still in contact with Chris, you should let your boyfriend know... You know... better than him finding out who Chris is by himself. Or you know, Chris would probably try to contact your boyfriend. I've lost all control over Chris, well, I never had control over him in the first place. But yeah. Just be careful?
Sometimes at night, I can sort of hear you whispering into my ear. It's kind of scary! It must be from those sleepovers we had so often that I just keep hearing your stupid freaking voice. Do you hear my voice? I bet you don't. You haven't written to me since forever! Why is it that I find that I care more about you than you care about me? I feel like most of my relationships are like that anyways. I'm always the person who cares more and stresses over things more and tries to contact the other person more often. Is that a bad thing? I don't know, you're going to have to help me answer this one. I never thought it was a bad thing, it just makes me feel stupid.
Anyways. I have a midterm tomorrow. It's worth 50% of my mark! Can you wish me luck? Do you still read my blog? I have a feeling you don't, so you'll probably never read this letter. Maybe I'll print this off and send it to you when I have the time. What's your address now? I don't know your freaking address. Ugh. How about I just print it off and leave it in our box? What about your email? Is it the same? I hate how you haven't even tried to contact me! Because clearly it's easier for you to contact me than it is for me to contact you.
Anyways. I'll miss you. And you better be missing me right now.
Your crazy, totally random, and stubborn friend,
-Steph
I'm so tired right now. I'm in this never ending circle of routines, errands, chores and conversations. Will I pass the next test? Will I even graduate and get my bachelors? What will my job be? Will I have a family? How much longer will my parents be with me? Will I get to see the world?
Can you answer any of these questions for me?
I'm trying so hard to please everyone. It's hard to keep up with everyone, from volunteer coordinators to professors, to doctors, to friends, to my family. I think the only reason why I can't seem to please everyone is because I still haven't found myself the right niche. Have you found yourself yet? Are you still trying to fit in? Don't worry if you're still struggling, I hear some people struggle their entire life. So it's still too early for you to start worrying yet. Wait. Are you still a worry wart? Didn't I tell you to work on that?
Did you ever manage to learn all the languages that you wanted to learn? I really hope you picked up Korean or Japanese, either one would be fine. I'd be so disappointed in you if you didn't fit them into your schedule. I know you're a busy person, but it was still a goal you set for yourself if you still hadn't reached it yet, I'd suggest to you to get cracking on it now. Now. Now. Now. How's your Mandarin? The last time I heard you, you weren't bad but you could definitely brush up on your vocabulary box.
Do you still listen to Korean music? Are you still obsessed over Korean dramas like I am? You know, your life will never be like that. So. Stop dreaming if you're still dreaming and drooling over the male lead of every drama.
You never got a chance to tell me about your boyfriend. How is he? If you tell me you still don't have one yet, I'd laugh. I remember how sad you were when you told me you really wanted a boyfriend. You said you wanted to "know what it feels like to love someone and have someone love you back just as much". You were such a drama queen. But. I guess I can sort of relate. Sort of. I'm not all that sad about being single though, I mean the state of being single fits my schedule. I don't know how to fit someone else into my schedule. Are you fitting him into your schedule well? What does he look like? Does he look anything like the guy you described to me? Tall, strong, brown doe eyes, clean shaved, short hair, preferably brown, Asian, can you make laugh and forget all your worries? Do your parents know about him? You promised to tell your parents the moment things were stable.
I remember telling you that I wanted to be a doctor. A surgeon, to be exact. You were so surprised and excited because that's what you wanted to be as well. Are you a surgeon yet? LET ME KNOW! I might join you in a few years. *embarrassed laugh* If I get out of UofT alive that is... Did you make it out of UofT alive? What's your best advice to me now? I know a couple of my UofT friends who are struggling with me too and I'd love to be able to give them some insight. It's not just all studying right?
I find myself crying a lot these days. I don't know why. Do you still occasionally cry over stupid things? Sometimes I feel like I'll never grow up. I'm still so emotional and moody. I remember the time when you and I were so stressed over our midterms that we just went to sleep because we thought, "if you don't know it by now, you won't know it" and when we woke up we cried on our way over to the exam because we knew how screwed we were. *GOOD* times. Do you have better studying habits now? Hopefully, better than mine.
Do you still remember Chris? Do you still talk to him? I sort of lost contact a while ago. I don't think he's doing all too well the last time I checked on him. But "well" is really subjective I suppose. If you're still in contact with him, I wouldn't be mad since he was such a big part of your life. I won't stop you from contacting him since he was everything in your life at one point, I understand that would be hard for you to erase him completely. But if you have a boyfriend now, there wouldn't be a need to keep in contact with him right? I don't think your boyfriend would be very pleased if you did. I wouldn't tell him but I think if you're still in contact with Chris, you should let your boyfriend know... You know... better than him finding out who Chris is by himself. Or you know, Chris would probably try to contact your boyfriend. I've lost all control over Chris, well, I never had control over him in the first place. But yeah. Just be careful?
Sometimes at night, I can sort of hear you whispering into my ear. It's kind of scary! It must be from those sleepovers we had so often that I just keep hearing your stupid freaking voice. Do you hear my voice? I bet you don't. You haven't written to me since forever! Why is it that I find that I care more about you than you care about me? I feel like most of my relationships are like that anyways. I'm always the person who cares more and stresses over things more and tries to contact the other person more often. Is that a bad thing? I don't know, you're going to have to help me answer this one. I never thought it was a bad thing, it just makes me feel stupid.
Anyways. I have a midterm tomorrow. It's worth 50% of my mark! Can you wish me luck? Do you still read my blog? I have a feeling you don't, so you'll probably never read this letter. Maybe I'll print this off and send it to you when I have the time. What's your address now? I don't know your freaking address. Ugh. How about I just print it off and leave it in our box? What about your email? Is it the same? I hate how you haven't even tried to contact me! Because clearly it's easier for you to contact me than it is for me to contact you.
Anyways. I'll miss you. And you better be missing me right now.
Your crazy, totally random, and stubborn friend,
-Steph
