So I've come to realize that I'm not one of those people who can have everything in the world, who can be everything in the world.
There are some girls out there who are athletic, beautiful, smart, kind and rich. I don't know how much more well-rounded you can be. I can't be that. I can't be BEAUTIFUL and SMART. Because when I study really hard, I look like a zombie the next morning. I can't be sociable and smart because I'll be too busy getting friendly with someone instead of doing work.
So I've come to the conclusion. It's okay. Not everyone can do everything. So I'm going to have to pick what I really care about and what I really want to be. I've decided, I'm going to be a doctor.
I will. I repeat. I swear on my life at this very moment, I will become a doctor. I will work so hard like I've never worked before. I have to do this. I love singing. I love looking beautiful. I love being the centre of attention. But I NEED to be a doctor. It's my life. And if I can't be a doctor, I don't think it's ever going to be a life I want to be living.
I am selfish like that. I want my mom to be proud of me and she's dedicated her entire life to me so the least I can do is fulfill my dream to be doctor so she can to be proud of me. I don't need friends. I don't need vanity. I don't need entertainment. I need to be a doctor and although I can't say that I will fight forever. But for the last 2 years of my undergrad, I have to fight harder so that I can at least tell myself that I TRIED my very hardest and I still failed.
Goodbye blog. Goodbye other dreams. Goodbye other pieces of me. We will meet again I'm sure, until then, wish me luck on my battle to become the best that I can be.
