I sound like such a big cry baby. But I hate having to go back to that stupid apartment. I'm leaving tomorrow noon since I have to be down there around 4 to finish up some Science Rendezvous stuff. I'm so glad that next week I can just leave that place forever. I'm thinking that since exams start, there really is no reason for me to stay there and live with people who are such losers. I might as well just come home once exams begin and live in a nicer and friendlier environment.
This year has been so rough. I just want it to end. Some dead person once said that there were no failures in life, just experiences and your reactions to them. I'd like to agree with that but honestly, what do you mean there are no failures in life?! Getting 2/10 on my quiz is not just an experience and MY mere reaction to it, it's a COMPLETE failure on my part. LOL. Although this entire year felt like a complete EPIC failure to me, I guess I can say, in this case, it was just ONE BIG LIFE EXPERIENCE and a lesson well-taught. Lessons well-taught.
1. Never ever freaking sign contracts without thinking. NEVER. Think of the worst that can happen and IMAGINE it actually happening. And then imaging LIVING in that condition for the date specified in the contract. No matter how small the chance of it happening, you still need to consider it.
2. Not all your friends will like you. I guess I sort of always knew this. I've always categorized friends into four groups:
a. LEECHES. Friends who only want to take take take take take from you. They know you got the goods and so they just want in on some of it. They pretend to be your BEST FRIEND whenever they need something but after that, they won't even remember your name. I don't have any goodies, so I don't really attract these types of people. I'm not rich or smart or have amazing connections, so I don't really worry about meeting leeches.
b. MONKEYS. I scratch your back and you scratch mine. These are the people who use you and you use them back. It's an unspoken rule but it's very clear that you two are just "friends"... with side benefits. A real friendship is unlikely to develop but it can possibly happen. Your friendship is like a business transaction. I tend to have many of these types of friends and I don't really mind. I mean, these are the people in my lectures, I send them notes when they're sick and they send me recordings that I need. We're on friendly terms. We'll sometimes call each other up and rant to each other about how much our professors suck but other than that, that's as far as our friendship goes.
c. ANTS. Your neutral everyday friend. They are everywhere. For example, the classmate who once shared a cookie with you on her birthday, and then you two realized that you both love Pokemon. And... that's the end of it. These types of friendships are usually awkward because usually the both of you have different ideas of how close you two actually are and you never know whether or not you can ask them out for coffee or borrow their notes without looking like a poser or a user. I meet a lot of these people and they're nice to have around. These are the people that I actually treat pretty well just because it's better to have a friend than an enemy. However, they're also people I know I don't "click" with and so they only remain ants. On the exterior, I feel like they're nice, good people. However, I can't give any other sort of deeper impression of them since I don't know them that well.
d. PANDAS. Rare. Good friends. Not necessarily the ones you can ALWAYS count on but the ones you "click" with. It's hard to explain this click. They're not always the people who treat you well or the ones that actually really care about you, but they're the ones who just understand you. They may not be able to keep secrets, or give advice, or be that shoulder for you to cry on, but they get you. I'm strange and all over the place and so to find someone who gets me, I cling on and like NEVER EVER WANT TO LET THEM GO.
3. Not everyone makes it their obligation to be nice. This I had to learn the hard way. I always thought that the only reason there were nasty people out there was because 1. they were having a bad day and they weren't actually nasty or 2. they put up a facade because something bad happened to them in the past. LOL. BUTTTTTTTT. Now I know there are just nasty people out there because they were just born that way or they were just raised that way, I don't know.
4. Seek help when needed. I always thought I could handle everything myself, but that's so far from the truth. This year, I think I asked for help in every possible direction, from friends to counsellors, to lawyers, to parents. It's a good thing. You shouldn't be ashamed of it, there are people out there who do know more than you and will probably be able to give you a clear and more rational layout of the entire situation.
5. Always try. You may not succeed, you may never succeed but that's not an excuse for not trying. It's better to try and fail then to just not try at all. I think sometimes when I know I'm going to fail, I just don't try because I think, "Why bother? The results will be the same." But the process of trying and failing actually feels different from not trying at all and failing. There is a difference.
This year has been so rough. I just want it to end. Some dead person once said that there were no failures in life, just experiences and your reactions to them. I'd like to agree with that but honestly, what do you mean there are no failures in life?! Getting 2/10 on my quiz is not just an experience and MY mere reaction to it, it's a COMPLETE failure on my part. LOL. Although this entire year felt like a complete EPIC failure to me, I guess I can say, in this case, it was just ONE BIG LIFE EXPERIENCE and a lesson well-taught. Lessons well-taught.
1. Never ever freaking sign contracts without thinking. NEVER. Think of the worst that can happen and IMAGINE it actually happening. And then imaging LIVING in that condition for the date specified in the contract. No matter how small the chance of it happening, you still need to consider it.
2. Not all your friends will like you. I guess I sort of always knew this. I've always categorized friends into four groups:
a. LEECHES. Friends who only want to take take take take take from you. They know you got the goods and so they just want in on some of it. They pretend to be your BEST FRIEND whenever they need something but after that, they won't even remember your name. I don't have any goodies, so I don't really attract these types of people. I'm not rich or smart or have amazing connections, so I don't really worry about meeting leeches.
b. MONKEYS. I scratch your back and you scratch mine. These are the people who use you and you use them back. It's an unspoken rule but it's very clear that you two are just "friends"... with side benefits. A real friendship is unlikely to develop but it can possibly happen. Your friendship is like a business transaction. I tend to have many of these types of friends and I don't really mind. I mean, these are the people in my lectures, I send them notes when they're sick and they send me recordings that I need. We're on friendly terms. We'll sometimes call each other up and rant to each other about how much our professors suck but other than that, that's as far as our friendship goes.
c. ANTS. Your neutral everyday friend. They are everywhere. For example, the classmate who once shared a cookie with you on her birthday, and then you two realized that you both love Pokemon. And... that's the end of it. These types of friendships are usually awkward because usually the both of you have different ideas of how close you two actually are and you never know whether or not you can ask them out for coffee or borrow their notes without looking like a poser or a user. I meet a lot of these people and they're nice to have around. These are the people that I actually treat pretty well just because it's better to have a friend than an enemy. However, they're also people I know I don't "click" with and so they only remain ants. On the exterior, I feel like they're nice, good people. However, I can't give any other sort of deeper impression of them since I don't know them that well.
d. PANDAS. Rare. Good friends. Not necessarily the ones you can ALWAYS count on but the ones you "click" with. It's hard to explain this click. They're not always the people who treat you well or the ones that actually really care about you, but they're the ones who just understand you. They may not be able to keep secrets, or give advice, or be that shoulder for you to cry on, but they get you. I'm strange and all over the place and so to find someone who gets me, I cling on and like NEVER EVER WANT TO LET THEM GO.
3. Not everyone makes it their obligation to be nice. This I had to learn the hard way. I always thought that the only reason there were nasty people out there was because 1. they were having a bad day and they weren't actually nasty or 2. they put up a facade because something bad happened to them in the past. LOL. BUTTTTTTTT. Now I know there are just nasty people out there because they were just born that way or they were just raised that way, I don't know.
4. Seek help when needed. I always thought I could handle everything myself, but that's so far from the truth. This year, I think I asked for help in every possible direction, from friends to counsellors, to lawyers, to parents. It's a good thing. You shouldn't be ashamed of it, there are people out there who do know more than you and will probably be able to give you a clear and more rational layout of the entire situation.
5. Always try. You may not succeed, you may never succeed but that's not an excuse for not trying. It's better to try and fail then to just not try at all. I think sometimes when I know I'm going to fail, I just don't try because I think, "Why bother? The results will be the same." But the process of trying and failing actually feels different from not trying at all and failing. There is a difference.
